The next episode
It’s hard to remain hopeful after someone has completely disregarded your friendship as umm…. unecessary. Those words weren’t said but that’s how I see it. How do you remain hopeful after realizing that? Here I am trying to rationalize “well maybe he doesn’t see our friendship as that serious. Maybe it’s me that needs to not care so much.” I never thought I’d see the day where I should care less for someone. That’s opposite of what I believe. As a Christian, it’s my duty to love everyone regardless of what they do. But I hardly think God means to just let people walk all over you and be taken advantage of. “Be as harmless as a dove and as wise as a serpent.” uh, I’m so over it! I’m moving on and up in my life.
Speaking of, I’m moving on up! I’m moving out reallly reallly reallly soon. I mean, I’m counting the hours. I never thought I’d get emotional over this. I should my mom and dad the towels I bought and I had to jet to the next room cause i was getting a little teary-eyed. That was close. But it’s seriously coming down to the wire. You should never say “oh my life will begin at this point: when get married, when I move out, when I finish school or get a job.” But let me tell you this couldn’t be a better time to say this. My life is literally going to start. Being under my parents rule, lol, I couldn’t do much. I dared not stay out pass 8pm if I had been out all day. I remember days where I just thought, “what if I just said I’m gonna get an apt?” my parents would have laughed me into heaven. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re so behind as far as experiencing life “out there”. I mean just being about to go places without hesitation is one thing I have yet to experience. No more, “oh I can’t be out that late.” In the beginning I used to hate my parents for it. But more so now, i always say, “it’s out of the respect of my parents and since I still live underneath their roof, even at 24, it doesn’t give me the liberty to cause them heartache when I’m out at all hours of the night. So until I’m out, I’ll live by their rules.” and after I say something like that, people usually understand where I’m coming from and back off.
It’s so exciting and so scary at the same time. So happy I’ll be moving out with my sister. Makes it a little more bareable. I’ll have the mind to focus on bettering my mind body and soul.
This will certainly help me grow in my relationship with God. I’ll need Him more than ever in this transition! I’ll turn to Him to give me wisdom and discernment to meet and associate with the right people. I hope to get more involved in church. I’m so glad I have parents to taught me the power of prayer and no never go without it. I’ll always have that with me. Even when I stayed in the dorms my first yr of college, my dad told me to never forget to pray every night and anytime. I’ve got a great foundation to battle the next chapter.
=o)
